


A Villian's Heart

by TheBlackadder (mercilessraven)



Category: Loki - Fandom, Thor (Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, H/C COMPLETE, M/F, MiCD, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3611097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercilessraven/pseuds/TheBlackadder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did you ever wonder why Loki went so insane when he found out his father was actually the King of the Frost Giants? Thor goes to his cell to find answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Villian's Heart

A Villain’s Heart

The God of mischief was detained after his many war crimes both on Asgard and Earth, and had been sentenced to his captivity. His brother, even knowing what he had done still loved him and wanted to know why and how he could have done the things he’d done.

“It’s been so long since anyone has seen you Loki, we all mourned for your loss. No one imagined that evil would overtake you so completely in such a short time.” Thor said looking at his wayward brother.

“Evil?” Loki said genuinely surprised, “You think me, Evil? The wrongs and lies that were told and done to me in my childhood far outweigh any evil I may be guilty of.” He hissed at him, “You imagine that just because you were banished as mortal to Earth, and you discovered those people, the humans residing there that that world held treasures for you alone?”

Thor stepped closer to the prison cell where Loki was held captive, “What are you saying?”

“There were those of us who knew of Earth long before you bothered to look at the life upon it.” Loki fell silent a moment before he turned away. He’d never told anyone of this before, it was his deepest darkest secret, but it didn’t matter now. Not anymore. “I had a woman on earth. A human woman. Lovely she was. Pale skin, like alabaster, green eyes that shimmered in the sunlight, with hair like fire that roared in the darkness of the night. Her strength could only be matched by her gentleness. She was truly beautiful.”

All of this was new to Thor, he had no idea about any of it. “Why did you never say?” Thor asked clearly seeing how deeply Loki felt and cared about what he was saying. He was a talented liar and had always been, but this? This was no lie.

“Because it was ours. Mine and hers, no one else’s. We were blissful, full of joy, full of life. We wanted it all to ourselves to share it with no one,” Loki explained, “No one but each other. My sweet Anwen.” He said closing his eyes remembering her smiling face. It felt like ages now since they were together.

“When?” Thor asked, “To see her, when could you have? You were never gone to long, we saw each other often . . . nearly every day while we grew up together.”

“I am a master of my craft, a master magician. I did not need the bio-frost to move from one realm to another. I could go to Earth, to her, as easily as stepping from one room to the next. To be honest, I preferred it. I preferred her company and Earth to Asgard. Even though here I was a prince, and with her I was just a man like any other.” Loki turned and looked a Thor, “With Anwen I was everything, I was second to no one, I was her whole world and she was mine. Not like here, living in your shadow, your ‘greatness’.”

“Did she know about you?” Thor asked, “Who you really were?”

“She never did ask me, she didn’t care. But I told her. I told her everything from beginning to end. I kept nothing from her. By then it was too late anyway, we were already in love.” Loki said, “I could have told her I was a murderer, poor, outcast, depraved, a criminal, none of it would have mattered.”

Thor looked at his brother, the way he seemed to feel like he’d lost everything long before he tried to conquer Earth. It went far deeper than just the throne and his titles. “Where is she now?”

Loki scoffed, “What do you care, it has nothing to do with you, it never did. So why would it interest you in even the smallest capacity.” He once cared for Thor, and the All Father even after knowing that he was not a blood relative. But after everything all they had put him through he did not have the same affection as he held for them before. Now there was anger and hatred where there was once love in his heart for them.

“What became of her Loki?” Thor said in a softer less demanding tone.

The magician half smiled as he leaned against the wall of his cell, “It seems like ages ago now. There is so much I would tell her. So much I would say.” With a sigh he decided that he would tell his former brother the tale, having kept it inside him for so long. “I met her the first time quite by accident. She was such a little thing then. I found her playing in a wood just outside of her village. Hanging from the trees like some sort of nimble wild animal, her skirts tied at her waist so they wouldn’t tangle around her feet.

I was walking through the wood having somewhat lost my way and came face to face with a green eyed fire haired little child starring back at me unafraid and . . . upside down. So many humans were afraid of us when we walked among them on Earth, some were entranced, some were intrigued by the power we possessed, but not her. She looked at me as a man.

We talked for some time about small things. The trees, about the wild animals, about her home where she lived with her mother and two sisters, we even played a game where one of us would hide and the other would have to find them. When it became dark, it was time for her to return home. Having enjoyed our time and her company so much I conjured a small trinket from a stone and gave it to her. It was the first time she looked with wonder in her eyes. She didn’t say anything, just smiled up at me and ran away.” Loki said unable to suppress a smile as he recalled their first meeting.

“Our timelines are not the same and don’t run equal with the humans as you know. It’s easy to lose track and large bits of time may pass if you let them. I grew curious as to how my young friend was fairing and returned to Earth, to the same wood we’d first met. The first day she was not there, and I returned several days in a row hoping to see my young friend again. On the last day, I thought perhaps that she had long since moved away and I would never see her again. But when I started to leave, I felt something pelt me on the head. I looked up to see if it was some acorn or other such falling debris, when another pelted me at the back of the neck.

I turned and looked up seeing a beautiful fiery haired maiden, sparkling green eyes, pale flawless skin, barefoot, her skirts tied at her waist, sprawled out on a large branch above me like a panther beast. I could not mistake her for any other. She grinned and sat up before pushing herself backwards and landed on her feet standing up straight smiling at me. She was a woman now, no longer a child. Years had gone by since we’d last met. She hadn’t changed that much, but she was much more exciting to me than before.” 

 

Small Worlds

Loki lay stretched out in the tall cool rich green grass, his head resting on his arm bent behind his neck. He looked up at the blue sky and fluffy white clouds. The young maiden lay stretched opposite him, her cheek close to his. She looked up to the sky as well, twisting a wild flower between her fingers. A warm gentle breeze danced through the open meadow, as Loki’s free hand rested across his middle just breathing in the fresh air.

“It’s strange.” Loki began breaking the long silence. “I’ve seen such ugliness in your world. The horrors of war and hate. The cold bloodshed, and cruelty. I’ve never known such peace as this, or beauty in this world or in my world, in Asguard.”

“You came on a summer day. You would have had a different view if you had come in the winter months.” She said softly. “I would have had to gain your attention with balls of ice instead of nuts.” They both laughed as Loki turned on his side towards her admiring her features, her pure and innocent beauty. Reaching up he stroked her hair gently.

A thin leather cord around her neck caught his attention when his fingertips brushed over it. He pulled it up finding the charm he’d conjured for her when she was a child tied at the end. A smile swept his face seeing she’d never forgotten him. “You’ve thought of me then? Since we last saw one another.” He said looking over the small trinket. “How long has it been since the day we spent together?”

“8 years.” She replied reaching up taking the pendent between her fingers, “I started to think you were just a day dream.” Her green eyes turned towards his, “But this gift you gave me, reminded me that you were real.”

“Even now I see no fear in your eyes, in your gaze. Knowing who I am, the power I possess. Does it not frighten you?” Now she turned on her side facing him.

“If you are a God, you are a kind and benevolent one. Who held my hand when I was just a girl, and spoke to me as though I was an equal. You spoke truth to me, as no one had ever done before. No one has done so since. Even as a child, a useless creature, you placed value on me.” Anwen said honestly.

“I saw no useless creature then, and I see no such creature now. You are far more intelligent than any other in your realm.” He said reaching up sliding his fingers through her soft hair, soft like silk. “You are a treasure like no other Anwen.” The two gazed into each other’s eyes a moment before they found themselves locked in a tender and passionate kiss. After several moments, they continued to kiss rolling over once, and then again in the soft grass. Losing themselves in one another.

 

Story Teller

Loki still looked away recalling the day they were together, “We made love in that meadow among the grass and wild flowers until nightfall. I wanted to know her, every part of her, and she wanted to know me. Neither of us wanted to let the other go, but we knew that we had to. At least for a little while.

I came back to Asgard but as soon as there was a moment I returned to her. Months had passed instead of years this time, and although she was still young and beautiful and it was as though we had not been apart for a moment when we embraced again . . . I knew then that I couldn’t risk losing her to time.”

“As you say, our timeline moves differently than the humans, there was nothing you could have done.” Thor said assuming that was what had become of the young woman.

“Earth moves in a different time line to Asgard. Not humans to Asgardians. It was against the law for a human to be brought to Asgard then and although I could shield her presence for a short time, I could not conceal her forever. So instead I found a different world, a world where our time moved as one. Our days were the same, we would be together on either world it wouldn’t matter.”

“You took her from Earth? From her home? And she agreed to this?” Thor said in astonishment to think Loki would do such a unspeakable and unheard of thing without being noticed by someone.

“I was not the only one with a desolate and unknown past, Anwen had secrets that were being kept from her as well. I came from a royal bloodline and was a prince wither it be of Asgard, or Yodenhiem. She was no peasant. She herself came from an ancient royal human bloodline and was a princess.”

“How do you mean?” Thor asked.

“Her family ruled over Scotland, the northern part of an island just south of our Nordic stomping grounds, where our people visited when visiting Earth. There was a revolution rooted in difference of opinion on religion, resulting in the death of her father and her every living relative. Brothers, sisters, mother, father, cousins, even distant relations. Arwen was just a newborn babe then and was smuggled out of her country by those loyal to her father. The body of another child with the same look and the same age was left in her place in an attempt to keep her hidden and safe. Unfortunately the deception did not work and she was being hunted by master assassins, those who wished to completely eliminate her bloodline and collect a bounty. They were closing in on her and would have stolen her life if I did not take her away.” Loki explained.

“How did you know of this if she did not?”

“Those who were charged with her care were suspicious of me from the moment she introduced me to them. They tried to pull us apart at every opportunity. It was unclear why. Anwen was an eligible maiden and to them I was a man of means. Yet still they resisted. I cast a spell and they told me all they were hiding, from beginning to end. Before I could decide what to do about the matter, the mother and two daughters Anwen had been raised by were murdered, left in pieces in the cottage that was their home. She was spared because she was with me that day. There was no choice, I had to remove her from harm.”

Loki said turning towards Thor and walked over sitting down on the bench in the cell where they could see one another. “When I asked her to come away with me, I told her how far away it would be, where we were going and that she would never return to Earth again. She agreed anxiously without hesitation. I think she would have gone with me anywhere even if it were into the mouth of hell.”

Thor looked at Loki a moment, he was not lying. If ever there was a time in his life where a cascade of lies didn’t fall from his lips each time he parted them, this was it. Everything he said was fact and the emotions tied to his words were just as powerful as they were when he was in the moment. “You risked much by doing such a thing. You must have cared for your woman very deeply.”

“She was not just my woman,” Loki hesitated a moment, “Anwen was my wife.” This was even more of a shock then all he had said up to now. “Before we departed earth together, we were married in a small church. We were already bound together body and soul for all time, but it was to honor the traditions of her people.”

“Your wife?” Thor repeated, “Loki . . . as a prince of the nine realms . . .”

“Do you think I’m ignorant to the rules and traditions of Asgard?” Loki snapped. “You were with your human woman for two days? Three?” Anwen and I were together heart and spirit for 40 times that before I took her away from Earth. You cannot hope to comprehend the bond that she and I shared.”

Thor quieted a moment before asking, “What happened to her, Loki? Where is she?” He repeated his question from before.

A desolate look crossed Loki’s eyes replacing his outrage at Thor’s assumption. He looked away once more retreating into his memories. “We spent every moment there was together. When I wasn’t here in the company of others, I stole away into her arms. When it was clear that father had chosen you as his successor to his throne, it seemed as though no one took notice when I spent more hours away to be with my bride. I was so much happier there. I gave her everything there was to give to her, and more. I saw that she lived as a princess should live, with finery of every kind, clothes, jewelry, a place with all the comforts I could afford her. I spent time conjuring all as a master of the magic’s, it was easy. But none of that mattered to her. She still preferred to be outside, and ran barefoot in the fields.

Each and every time I returned to her, it was as though we’d been apart for ages. Just being with one another filled us with so much . . . joy. We’d ride through the fields on horseback, she could always ride so well. Playing silly games during the day, we were like children without a care or responsibility in the world. Our laughter, oh our laughter was the most musical sound to my ears and I could hear it every day I spent with her. We were so happy.

We made love every night, unable to hold each other tight enough, losing ourselves in each other’s touch. You cannot possibility hope to ever know what it was like holding a goddess in your arms that you had grown so much with, shared so much with, loved with every part of your existence. Every breath and every beat of your heart.”

Loki was silent for a moment, “It was two years after I had taken her away from Earth, that I arrived one day in our world. I found her more excited than usual to see me. I knew every line of her beautiful face and I could see the smile that held a happy secret behind it. She seemed like she would burst having to wait to share it with me. She was with child. The woman I loved carried my child in her womb. I was stunned at first, but it took mere moments before I found myself in awe and then completely overtaken with absolute excitement.

I held her face in my hands and kissed her over and over. We were both beyond ecstatic, the thought of having created a child together. To have a son, a daughter it didn’t matter because it would be part of us, the both of us, and conceived in love. I could not imagine anything more . . .wondrous or glorious than that.” Loki stood and walked around his cell.

“The plans we made were absolutely limitless and lofty to be honest. Inconceivable at times, but we were to overcome to think rationally. If it were possible together we would have presented the universe to our child wrapped in a bow.” He sighed and leaned against the wall once more his back to Thor.

“The first few months, she seemed to positively glow. Her eyes shined brighter, her breasts began to swell, every day she was more beautiful than the last.” He fell silent and looked at his hand a moment before he rubbed them together. “But suddenly that all changed. One day I went to our world, expecting to see her smiling face to greet me, but she wasn’t there. She was in her bedchamber, burrowed underneath blankets. Oh of course when she saw me she smiled and threw her arms around me as she had come to do whenever I arrived. When I asked her why she was still in bed at such a late hour, she said she was cold. She couldn’t leave the blankets and covers because it felt like the Earth Winter she remembered and had left behind long ago. I thought it odd, our world had no winter. Some days were colder than others but never did a single snowflake fall.”

“It didn’t take long before her health which had been blooming like a rose in the spring, began to wither and fade. She lost weight when she had no weight to lose, her pale skin turned grey and sickly and still she was so cold. The fireplace in her room was kept hot at all hours of the day, I even expanded it so it circled most of the room and the fires roared, but still she felt as though she was freezing. The swell of her body where our child grew became more visible and she forced herself to eat and drink hardly able to keep it down, trying to keep her strength up for the baby’s sake. But the fact of it was . . . I was watching her die.

I tried everything to care for her, spells, medicines from Earth, medicines from Asgard. I couldn’t stand to watch her suffer another day and I had finally come to the decision to bring her here against the laws and place her in the healing room in the hope that she would regain her health. But by then it was too late. I had waited too long. She died in my arms and it was too early for the child to survive.”

“I couldn’t understand why this had happened. Why I couldn’t care for her, why I couldn’t make her better. Even though we think of humans as fragile she was strong, I saw it with my own eyes, she had the strength of an Asgardian, and it didn’t make sense to me that her body could not survive baring a child. Asgardians have mated with humans before, and it had no ill affect on the mothers. Their decedents still walk the Earth now.” Loki grit his teeth, his jaw clinched as he remembered that horrid day.

“I didn’t find out until long after she’d perished why she had died so horribly. It wasn’t until your ill conceived attack on Yodenhiem and banishment that I was told the truth of my parentage.” He turned and looked at Thor, “You see, Asgardian and Human physiology is not so different. It’s enough alike that human women can bare Asgardian children without any adverse affects. But a human cannot bare the offspring of a frost giant because their bodies cannot meet the demands of the child as it gestates. The body temperature of a frost giant and a human are literally opposite as negative to positive. Anwen froze to death from the inside out. Trying, fighting with everything in her to bring my child into the world.”

“You couldn’t have known, Loki. It wasn’t your fault.” Thor said.

“I WAS LIED TO MY ENTIRE LIFE BY THE ONES WHO CLAIMED TO BE MY PARENTS. WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE ME WHEN THE ALL FATHER TOOK ME FROM YODENHIEM!! They lied to me from the moment they brought me into the house of Odin, and it cost me the one immaculate and wondrous thing in my life that I cherished above all else.” Loki roared as his anger erupted like a volcano his voice shaking the walls. “She was my love, my heart, my soul and I murdered her because I was not of Asgardian blood.” 

“Loki, we were your family, I was your brother you could have come to us, to me. We would have found a way to help her, to save her.” Thor said.

Loki gave him a spiteful smile, “For a future king of the Asgard you seem to have a severe issue with your hearing.” He said raising his voice, “I was a prince of Asgard, second in line to the throne. I had been married to a human woman and hidden it from the universe for years. Even now in his old age, the All Father is not so forgiving or have you forgotten so soon? Law will come before love or family. As it always has to the ruler of the 9 realms.”

Thor looked at Loki, it was like looking at a stranger, someone he’d never seen before. Loki had lived a whole other life in secret. So secret no one in all of Asgard knew of it. Even those closest to him. His friends, his own brother. The extreme hate and anger that had come from what everyone had assumed was keeping him from his true origins, and his finding out on his own what they were. Perhaps that was the reason at the core of his rage, but he had lost far more than anyone had known. Before now it seemed strange that he had gone so completely insane finding his true father was the King of the Frost Giants. But the source of his loss of sanity was simply that volumes of questions he had, volumes more than anyone had known about were all answered at once. Including the loss of his dear Anwen.

He felt betrayed by those he considered his loved ones in so many ways, layers upon layers of betrayal that severed all his loyalties to the house of Odin. What could there be left for Thor to say to his wayward brother. 

“How is she remembered?” Were the words that seemed to find their way first. “Anwen. Your wife?” Thor asked.

Loki looked at Thor whom he had once loved more dearly than any other as though making a choice. Then he walked to the glass and stood before him. Everything had been taken from him when he was imprisoned. Everything but a single item he had hidden in a small pocket of time. He cupped his hands together and then pulled them apart. Between them suspended in the air was a pendent strung on a piece of thin leather cord. Thor recognized it from Loki’s description.

“She never took it off since the day I gave it to her when she was just a small child in the wood. She always had it with her.” He turned his hands and the simple necklace began to spin faster and faster until it turned into an image. So real you would think you were starring at the living breathing person. Anwen was just as beautiful as Loki had described her. Perhaps even his descriptions of the young woman did not do her justice. The image was just a few moments, a small snippet of time. Midway the smile that Loki adored and remembered best about her appeared on her face, and it was radiant. How could he have helped but fall in love with the lovely creature.

Thor saw a small smile appear on Loki’s face as he gazed at the image but then it melted away and vanished as he closed his hands together. The pendant and the image disappeared. Loki wouldn’t risk someone taking that from his as well. “She’s remembered as she was.” He finally answered. He looked up at Thor, “As my beloved.” It was Loki’s final word on the matter; he felt he had talked enough about something that he had never spoken of before to another living soul.

Thor wished there was more he could say, but words were insufficient to ease his younger brother’s grief. Loki had gone through much more then they had imagined, and he had endured it all alone. Thor stood looking towards the distraught bitter man that had once been as innocent as the young woman he had fallen in love with. Filled with anger and hate that could never be mended. “I am sorry brother. For your loss.” With that, Thor turned and left the cell chamber.

Loki had lost everything he once held dear, and he was completely alone in the universe.

 

~The End~


End file.
